Things That I Have To Carry That Are Not Shaped Appropriately For This Task Can Get Fucked.

You'll have to stay with me here. I had been having a string of perfectly nice, uneventful days, which means not much action on the who-can-get-fucked blog. But the last couple of days have involved spending extra hours at work for total bullshit reasons. I don't get paid overtime. So at the present I'm pissed and everyone can get fucked. Even inanimate objects can get fucked.

I'm a man that often finds himself carrying things from place to place. I'm sure you can all relate, unless you don't have any arms. In that case, I suppose you've got more of a bone to pick here with life in general than I do. You can disregard this post if you have no arms. Everyone else, please read on.

Seriously, why can't they just make everything that is likely to be carried from place to place shaped in a uniform manor so that it can be stacked with other things that must be carried along with it? I'm talking as close to the cube shape as possible, even weight distribution, all flat surfaces and none of that curved surface bullshit. This is something that seriously makes me pissed off.

I'll give you an example. I can think of literally thousands of times I've carried a computer tower from one location to another, and on many occasions, I wish to stack something on top of it to save myself extra and unneeded trips. Perhaps a box of software that goes with this computer. Why would fucking Joe Dell (or whatever asshole designed the case of the computer) make the top of the tower curved? Out of these thousands of times I've carried a computer somewhere, I can think of exactly zero god damn times that I've wished to stack something on top of this tower in which the bottom of this object is curved concavely in such a way that it will fit neatly on top of the computer. It's always something flat. So I try to balance this flat object on the curved computer and carry it out to my car. Then I get halfway out to my car and everything slides off of the computer. A gust of wind siezes the opportunity to fuck me over, and an important stack of papers I was also carrying just fucking bolts in all directions across the parking lot like so many teenagers at a house party that's been busted by the cops. At the same time, a useless plastic bag that had been skulking around the corner until I walked by flies up into my face in an attempt to shield my eyes while the papers escape, and I trip over some stupid concrete block and almost smash the $1000 piece of crap into a million pieces of crap worth 1/1oth of a penny each. Luckily, I stop that from happening by a sheer force of will that can only be attained by getting really pissed off at inanimate objects.

There are at least a million people I want to tell that they can get fucked in this scenario, and not one of them is me, even though I stacked a bunch of shit that most would deem unstackable.

Such is my life.