Well, not all scientists. Some scientists are pretty stand up guys. For instance, the scientists who created the Internet were cool. Scientists that found Dinosaurs were indirectly responsible for many of my happy memories as a child in school. Scientists that created effective methods of birth control have been pretty integral to my happiness as an adult. (Well, in all honesty, not enough of the early part, but the parts they did have an effect on have been pretty sweet, and I thank them for this.)
However, I am specifically irate at the scientists that are telling me that I can't barbecue any more because I'll get prostate cancer. (Link to story here.) First of all, these scientists totally gave cancer to some poor helpless creatures that probably thought they were eating hamburgers. Then, these scientists told me that I'm going to die as a result of the only method of cooking that I am particularly good at--grilling delicious meat. Why couldn't they link pancreatic cancer to a compound created during the cutting of yellow bell peppers? I don't dislike eating yellow bell peppers or anything, but we've already got green, orange, and red bell peppers, probably a few other colors I don't even know about, and they're all pretty delicious. If the yellow ones went away, I wouldn't even notice. But barbecued meat? Come on, that is bullshit!
Scientists that claim you'll get cancer from barbecueing meat are worse than Hitler, and they can get fucked.
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5 comments:
This blog is fucking hilarious! I feel the same way about this shit, it's awesome!
At least peppers help to battle cancer, so when you make them with bbqed stuff they balance eachother out!
Nothing, neither hill nor valley, sea nor desert, scientist nor predicted cancer, will keep me away from your delicious meat. steve and i are still talking about those delicious steaks from last week. those scientists really can get fucked.
hmm, no it couldn't be all the chemicals and hormones that we feed cattle to make them 'better'. no that couldn't be the reason we're getting cancer, now could it?
I think that every time we hear another alarmist news story about how some common food or household item is going to kill us, an angel gets cancer.
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